The Best of 2014

Here is a late and lazy list of the best of 2014.

Music: Not one of my favorite years in music. I did like some albums but none as much as I liked last year's release from the Arctic Monkeys, AM. AM has continued in my rotation and has earned its place in the Griff Album Hall of Fame. Anyway back to 2014.



1. "Turn Blue" - The Black Keys. "Turn Blue" found the Black Keys incorporating psychedelia into their retro blues rock and soul. "Weight Of Love," has Dan Auerbach finally tearing off a solo that puts him among history's elite guitarists. "Gotta Get Away," was not the hit that I was expecting to take over radio and signal a return of classic rock into the mainstream, but it still is one of the best and catchiest tunes in the Black Keys repertoire.

2. "Live" - Gary Clark Jr. Some would consider it cheating to include a live album but its not like this an archival album of a show from a decade ago. This is a recent recording that showcases the best current blues rock guitar player on the scene today. This version of "Please Come Home," combines Clark's sexy falsetto with a searing soul drenched guitar solo.

3. "Metamodern Sounds In Country Music" - Sturgill Simpson. Country music has been in a sad state for a long time. Other then a pair of releases from Jamey Johnson and Dwight Yoakam's "3 Pears" from 2012, there hasn't been much to speak of since the deaths of Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and George Jones. "Metamodern Sounds In Country Music," is the work of a new country music outlaw. Sturgill has the old school twang of Waylon and Merle and like all the great country singers before him, he sings songs about broken hearts, booze, jail and Jesus. What makes Simpson unique is he also makes references to Buddhism, meditation and possibly drugs of the psychedelic variety. Album closer "It Ain't All Flowers," even opens with some Hendrixian backwards guitar playing before becoming a classic country hard times kind of song.

4. "Manipulator" - Ty Segall.
Ty Segall is incredibly prolific. The guy usually releases 2-3 albums a year. Its cool if you are a fan because you always have some fresh new sounds. However, he has yet to release a timeless classic album. One can't help but think that if he took the best tracks from a years worth of albums he would be releasing consistently brilliant slabs of 60s inspired lo-fi garage rock mania. With Manipulator, Segall took some time, 18 months in fact, and released a double album.... of course. The results are mostly fantastic with just a little meh. Overall this is one of Segall's most solid pieces from the garage as he resurrects the glam of prime T. Rex and Ziggy Stardust era Bowie. The tunes are loud, catchy as hell, and sugary sweet.

5. "Lazaretto" - Jack White.While no where near as classic as any of his albums from the White Stripes, "Lazaretto," is the second solid solo album from Jack White. Highlights include the blues punk stomper "Three Women," the epic "Would You Fight For My Love," the hammer crushing instrumental "High Ball Stepper," and the millenial indictment "Entitlement."

6. "Magical Dirt" - Radio Moscow. Radio Moscow has sort of become the underground psych blues equivalent of AC/DC, meaning don't fuck with formula. There is something comforting about a band knowing what they do well and then doing it with the kind of confidence that is on display with the latest Radio Moscow release. This album does differ in one important way however. It is the first studio album to feature a live drummer. Resident guitar whiz, Parker Griggs, used to perform all of the drums himself. So what we have is a true recreation of 60s pysch blues power trio, and much like the Jimi Hendrix Experience, Cream, Blue Cheer and Mountain before them, Radio Moscow take the blues into the stratosphere with lots of wailing, whammy barred, wah wah pedaled guitar abandon. Great stuff.

Movies:

I haven't had a chance to see "Gone Girl" or "Foxcatcher" yet, but the following 11 movies were the best of 2014. I would say in my opinion, but lets be honest, my opinion is fact. Just kidding.

1. Interstellar: I can practically hear all of the Nolan haters groaning at this pick, but they can all get sucked into a black hole. For me its no contest. Interstellar like 2001:A Space Odyssey before it, is science fiction that challenges viewers to think about the big questions of human life and the universe in which we find ourselves. There aren't many movies that can lecture on the complexities of relativity while also being entertaining and full of heart.

2. Boyhood: Anyone who has viewed Richard Linklater's "Before" trilogy or "Dazed and Confused," knows that he likes to tell human stories in real time. But even his biggest fans had to be surprised by "Boyhood," an epic film about growing up shot over twelve years with the same cast. We are able to watch Mason grow up from the age of six until he is eighteen. While there isn't much of a plot, this is a truly unique film experience that keeps your attention throughout its 2 hour and 45 minute run time.

3. Calvary: This is one hell of a heavy watch, but it is damn worth your time. "Calvary" features Brendan Gleeson as a good priest whose life is threatened as payment for the sins of priests past. Gleeson's priest is figuratively put on the cross as the story focuses on themes of belief and nihilism.

4. Nightcrawler: "Nightcrawler," is a scathing rebuke of the TMZ generation, but most of all it features a fantastically creepy performance from Jake Gyllenhall.

5. Whiplash: This flick will burn itself into your consciousness. Miles Teller plays an aspiring jazz drummer at a prestigious music school where he must excel under the totalitarian teaching of his music director played by J.K. Simmons. Simmons psychologically and physically torments his students in order to be the best. Are his methods justified if they produce the next Charlie Parker or Buddy Rich? You'll have to decide for yourself.

6. Cold In July: What at first seems to be your standard home invasion / revenge flick takes a complete left turn when Don Johnson rolls into town in a big red Cadillac. This is an intense and bloody flick that goes against expectations and cliches. Also bonus points for the John Carpenteresque synth score that pops up throughout the film.

7. Wild: Reese Witherspoon stars in the true story of a woman who while hiking the 1000 mile plus Pacific Crest trail must confront her past relationships, drug and sex addictions. It may seem there isn't much of movie here but thanks to the skilled direction of Jean-Marc Vallee we have a movie that keeps your attention.

8. Skeleton Twins: SNL alumni Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader do drama well in this melancholy dramedy about a pair of estranged twins struggling to accept themselves and each other warts and all.

9. Inherent Vice: The latest flick from Paul Thomas Anderson is a hilarious and slightly incoherent early seventies Los Angeles drug haze of a flick. This one will probably require multiple viewings to fully ingest but damn I laughed. Good work from Joaquin Phoenix and Josh Brolin.

10. Birdman: Fueled by fantastic performances, unique camera work that makes the movie feel as if it is one extended take, and an incessant jazz drumming soundtrack, "Birdman" was one of the most unique films of this or any year. If it wasn't for that damn ending this movie would easily had made my top 5. The ending aside, don't miss "Birdman." Cheers to the return of Michael Keaton.

11. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: An awesome sequel to the surprisingly awesome "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." A much needed redemption to an underrated franchise that was marred by a shitty Tim Burton movie and some pretty lackluster sequels. The 1968 version is still the definitive Apes movie but the last two are pretty damn sweet.

A great year of cinema that also boasted some disappointments: Grand Budapest Hotel: I love Wes Anderson and I didn't hate Grand Budapest, but I also didn't love it. I love nearly all of his flicks but in Grand Budapest he over did it. As my good friend Kenny D said, it was a Wes Anderson movie on heroin. Its too much. Tone it back Wes. You make great flicks. My personal fave is the criminally underrated "A Life Aquatic," followed closely by "Rushmore." I am also annoyed at all the praise that "Under the Skin" is getting. Is it artsy? Sure. Is it unique? Fine. Is it any good? Hell no. I hated this fucking movie. There is a classic moment on "Arrested Development" when Maebe suggests ending a movie with someone walking on water. She felt that everyone would love it because they wouldn't know what it meant and they wouldn't want to appear stupid by admitting their ignorance. I'm not making any accusations but.... Finally there was "Men, Women and Children." Directed by Jason Reitman this flick was an embarrassing, unbalanced, cranky and dated critique of internet culture. The voice over narration is unnecessary and the attempted links to Carl Sagan were forced and cheesy. I would dare say I hated this movie slightly more then I hated Under the Skin.

Pink Floyd: The Endless River

I want to tell you that this is a classic Pink Floyd record. I want to say that this album stands next to undisputed classics like "Dark Side of the Moon," "Wish You Were Here," and "The Wall." I want to say those things and I want them to be true, because I love Pink Floyd. Their music has been with me for a long time. The thing is, I would've have been very surprised if Floyd's latest album, their first in twenty years, "The Endless River," was on par with those classics. How could it be? This album was cobbled together from unused takes recorded during the making of "The Division Bell." This is something that David Gilmour and Nick Mason made clear in promotional interviews for the record.

So far reviews for "The Endless River," have not been favorable with "The Independent" calling it "boring and desperately disappointing." I'm not entirely sure what such reviewers were expecting. I've been looking forward to this album from the time the news of it's existence was leaked, but even I knew that it wasn't going to be anything revolutionary. These are twenty year old left overs revisited and reedited into an album of "new" music. By this point I am hoping that I given you more realistic expectations of what you are getting when you listen to the album.

When the record came in the mail today it was nice to open the box and to see a beautifully packaged album. Pink Floyd has always had visually striking and surreal album art and "The Endless River" is no exception. It was nice to give the record a spin and to hear the familiar sounds of the late Rick Wright's long sustained keyboard notes and David Gilmour's reverb heavy guitars. While much of Floyd's music, especially during the Roger Waters led era, dealt with dark subject matter, the music has always had a mellow warmth that invited listeners to sit back and trip out, with or without mind altering psychedelics. Most of the time I prefer my rock n roll to be raw and unpolished, but its hard to argue against the always immaculate sound quality of Pink Floyd albums. In terms of pure sound "The Endless River," lives up to the high standard of its predecessors. Great artwork? Check. Great sound quality? Check. Great songs? Well....its complicated.

Pink Floyd, with the exception of "Money" and "Another Brick In the Wall," have never been known for producing chart topping hook filled singles. Pink Floyd was always about full album statements. That being said, "The Endless River," is particularly void of hooks and with the exception of the album closer "Louder Than Words," it rarely contains anything that could be called a song at all. However, it must be remembered that this album was advertised and promoted as mostly instrumental and ambient. To call this an album of eighteen new Pink Floyd songs is misleading. In actuality this is a collection of eighteen mostly instrumental snippets strung together into four longer pieces each occupying one side of the two record set.

While the music can feel directionless and incomplete, and some of it borders dangerously close to "Pure Moodsesque" New Age music, much of what's here is engaging and at times it gets frustratingly close to classic Floyd without quite reaching it. However "frustratingly close to classic Floyd," is still pretty damn good by any standard. Knowing that this album is made up of recordings that led to the hardly classic but still underrated "Division Bell," album makes it hard to not notice some repetition of notes here and there, but still this is an overall worthwhile 53 minutes if you are a Pink Floyd fan. This is not an album to convert new fans. This album has two main purposes for existing. One purpose is to give longtime Floyd fans some closure on the Pink Floyd legacy. The second and most important purpose is for the music to act as a tribute to the under appreciated keyboard work of Rick Wright who died back in 2008. On the best Pink Floyd recordings Wright's keyboards were the melancholy canvas on which Roger Water painted his words of youthful disillusionment and alienation. Wright's textures were a perfect compliment to David Gilmour's epic liquid reverbed guitar playing. Of particular note is Rick Wright's majestic playing of the Royal Albert Hall pipe organ found on the album's third side track "Autumn '68," which is a reference to not only when the piece was recorded, but to the Wright composed and forgotten pysch-pop gem "Summer '68" from "Atom Heart Mother."

So while "The Endless River" album will not be regarded as an all time classic in the annals of rock history, it does accomplish its purpose of being a nice gift and final statement from a great band that has connected with millions of fans worldwide for nearly five decades. Now before wrapping up my review what about that one song with vocals that closes the album? The name of that song is called "Louder then Words." I've always loved David Gilmour's singing voice and his performance on this track does not disappoint, nor does the sentiment of the song which is a statement about the complicated relationships that gave Pink Floyd's music that extra human element. However, its hard to forgive that cheesy opening line, "We bitch and we fight, diss each other on sight..." There is something hopelessly square about a sixty eight year old man using the word "diss," but then again even when they were cool, Pink Floyd were always were kinda square. Its part of what we love about them.

The 13 Worst Things to Ever Happen to Music... Ever

Well here is the list everyone has been begging me for. Literally begging. All people everywhere want to hear the rantings of a single 35 year old fat man sipping Mountain Dew and typing about music you don't care about in his underwear. I am going to steer away from the obvious on this list. Yes we all hate Nickelback, Justin Bieber, and Miley Cyrus. Its not even interesting to hate on them anymore. Those of you who do read this list I'm sure will disagree with much of it. If that is the case you can take comfort in the fact that in 15+ years of randomly picking up guitars I can almost play the introduction to Bob Marley's "Redemption Song," with only six mess ups!

13. Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" album: This one actually hurts a little bit. I love nearly every note Lou Reed played with the Velvet Underground, the only exception coming to mind is "The Murder Mystery." Only in the 1960s would anyone think having two completely incongruent pieces of music each blasting out of different speakers simultaneously was a good idea. But Lou Reed's solo discography is very spotty. "Metal Machine Music," released in 1975 is a double album, yes double, of tuneless guitar feedback. When I say tuneless, I am not exaggerating. Imagine the emergency broadcast system tone for an hour straight and you have "Metal Machine Music." Many have speculated that this was Reed's version of a practical joke on rock critics who praised his every move. Joke or not, what is funny, is how many critics have actually praised the album. Honorable Mention: Lou Reed's 2011 "Lulu" album recorded with Metallica. Interesting pairing. Could be good. Nope.

12. Eddie Vedder: The thing about this, is that I actually like Pearl Jam. I like Eddie Vedder. What I hate is every rock band that came after Pearl Jam between 1992 and 2001. For some reason every group thought it was a good idea to ape Eddie's up until 1991, unique voice. Despite what good music Pearl Jam has created their legacy will always be marred by the fact that Creed ever existed.

11. The Beatles: Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: I'm sorry. I really am. I like the Beatles just like anyone else, but this album is the most over rated collection of psychedelic quirkery ever recorded. We can thank Sgt. Pepper for every pretentious rock musician who wants to "be taken seriously as an artist," when they record something that no one actually wants to listen to. I'm looking at you Thom Yorke. Honorable Mention: "Revolution 9" from the Beatles' white album. The white album is a brilliant but uneven record. It is far and away my favorite Beatles album but "Revolution 9" is completely unlistenable. I don't care how innovative it is in terms of studio production. I challenge anyone to listen and enjoy the entire thing. If you can do this I will send you an hour long album of me attempting to play a mistake free version of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" intro on guitar, absolutely free. I demand to be taken seriously as an artist damn it!

10. The Beastie Boys and Sublime: Maybe its because these bands were universally loved in my high school, but if I have to hear "Sabotage," "Girls," "Fight For Your Right," "What I Got," or "Date Rape," ever again I will probably take a cheese grater to my.... finish that sentence however you like.

9. Journey, Boston, Kansas, Styx, Foreigner, Chicago: These bands are the reason the phrase "seventies rock" elicits groans and eye rolls from most people born after 1989. There are fewer things that irritate me more then hearing "Come Sail Away" on classic rock radio.

8. The Eagles: "Man, c'mon, I had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man." -The Dude. Amen Dude, amen. "Hotel California" is maybe the worst hit song from rock's golden era other then Don Maclean's "Miss American Pie."

7. Indie Music recorded after 2001: The Shins, Belle and Sebastian, Death Cab For Cutie, Bon Iver, Wilco, Decemberists, Iron & Wine, Pinback, My Morning Jacket, Sufjan Stevens and the rest of the post 1999 band's cds that I bought and listened to once. I hold you all personally responsible for Mumford and Sons. (Yes, I too, was duped by Mumford and Sons, until I woke up from a phony bluegrass coma and realized that every song was quiet, slighty louder, slightly louder, slightly louder, really fucking loud (as loud as you can be on acoustic instruments, anyway) and then quiet again. Epic dude. Totally epic.) The aforementioned bands are about as pretentious as every 1970s prog band but are about as exciting as Coldplay covering Hootie and the Blowfish. To be fair, my opinion is extremely biased. I think the world's best music was recorded in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s. Keep in mind, I was born in 1979.

6. Eddie Van Halen's "Eruption" guitar solo: I love guitar solos. I love them more then I love bacon cheeseburgers, sunsets, true love and oxygen. I have spent hours listening to and absorbing guitar solos from Jimi Hendrix, the Allman Brothers Band, David Gilmour, early Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Buddy Guy, Neil Young, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and countless blues and rock greats. Their solos are soulful expressions of human creativity. Unfortunately, even though Eddie Van Halen can play really, really, really, really fast, there is nothing interesting about his solos. "Eruption" is by far the worst example of the worst kind of guitar wankery that gives guitar soloing such a bad reputation.

5. Phil Collins: Commonly referred to as the antichrist of rock. One listen to "Sussido," the "Tarzan" soundtrack and even "In the Air Tonight" more then justify the label.

4. Santana's comeback: If all I had ever heard of Santana was their 1960s work, they would probably be among my favorite bands, but as good as their version of "Black Magic Woman" is, I can't help but think of them as anything other then that dinosaur band who thought recording a song with Rob Thomas would make them hip and relevant.... Although they did sell millions of albums. Touche Santana. Your guest star filled albums still suck.

3. Pretty much all of the 1980s: Okay, there are always a few exceptions: Stevie Ray Vaughan, The Replacements, Jesus and Mary Chain, Metallica. Shut up, I dig Metallica, even if Lars Ulrich is a boring douche of a drummer. Other then these groups, there isn't much else noteworthy to speak of in the 1980s. I guess I also like the Cure and the Smiths, but even I find their epic moping a little tiresome and almost comical. For the most part my complaint of the 1980s is the sound of the albums. 80s production is almost universally cheesy and horribly dated. Even on albums I like from the 80s, I think the drums sound shitty. With the exception Prince, great soul and r & b music, were almost completely absent in the 1980s with Stevie Wonder sounding like elevator music and Marvin Gaye's potentially awesome tune "Sexual Healing," being marred by crummy 80s keyboards. Also, hair bands suck. I mean they really suck. Motley Crue? Ratt? Poison? Bon Jovi? Warrant? No thank you.

2. Rap Rock: Record exec: "Hey, some kids like rock while other kids like rap. If we combine them, then all kids will like rap rock. Brilliant!" And what came of this unholy marriage? Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park and Kid Rock. Need I say more?

1. Green Day's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: How did a band who up until 2004 were most known for an album called "Dookie," get themselves acknowledged as one of history's great bands? They did the safest thing a rock band can do: They recorded a rock opera calling Americans idiots and ripping on a Republican president. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not a Republican, nor am I Democrat. I just find it ironic that rock n roll rebellion is so damn one sided. Of course there is Ted Nugent. Eew. I take it all back. Be as one sided liberal as you want.

Well there it is. I personally give this list 5 burning coals. Just kidding. Hope you enjoyed it or at least became as irrationally angry as I get at the mention of the "genius" of Kanye West. He is so awful, his awfulness transcends the need to be on a list such as this.

GARY CLARK JR. LIVE

The rock n roll live album. Loved by some and mocked by many. I count myself among the some. A great live album is a chance to really hear musicians do what they do outside of the confines and safety of the studio. (Yes, I am aware that many great live albums are sweetened in the studio. I'm totally fine with it.) Don't get me wrong, I love studio albums. In most cases I prefer them for at home listening. I also have to admit, that there are a lot of superfluous live albums. I dig me some live Grateful Dead, but do I really need over a hundred live Dead albums? No. Does Pearl Jam really need to release every single show? Of course not.
Fortunately, Gary Clark Jr. is young enough to have not flooded the market with unnecessary live recordings. His latest live record is one of those rare documents that is actually better then his studio output. 2012's Blak and Blu, has some great moments, but it is a bit stiff, unfocused and over-produced. It sounds like a talented musician trying to find his way. With "Live" we are hearing a musician and a band that knows exactly what they are on stage for: to keep the candles of blues, rock, and soul burning into the 21st century.
Comparisons to Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan are inevitable, but Gary has an identity all his own and he has the chops to be counted among history's great blues-rock guitarists. Gary's playing on cover songs "Catfish Blues," "Three O'Clock Blues" and "If Trouble Was Money," is more then enough to establish his blues street cred. Gary's inspired medley of Hendrix's "Third Stone From the Sun" and Albert Collins's "If You Love Me Like You Say," was something he did on "Blak and Blu," but its the live version that is definitive, featuring Gary's hip hop scratch guitar over drummer, Johnny Radelat's relentless funk.
On the studio album, "Travis County," was the victim over-production, but on stage the song's Chuck Berryesque riff allows Gary's fleet fingers to tear into some traditional rock n' roll. "Please Come Home," featuring Gary's lovely falsetto vocal, adds two minutes to the grammy winning studio version with an intense and soulful guitar solo. "When My Train Pulls In" and "Bright Lights," are nuclear meltdowns of fuzz guitar wizadry, while "Numb" adds a delta blues intro before unleashing a beautifully distorted riff that recalls the early days of the Black Keys.
The double record ends on a wonderfully low key note featuring Gary alone, lazily strumming his guitar on "When the Sun Goes Down." The song also affords Gary the chance to show off his harmonica skills, which is something he hopefully continues to add to future recordings. With this live album Gary has established himself as this generation's guitar hero. With young players like Gary Clark Jr. we can hopefully look forward to many more years of blues inspired rock 'n' roll. 4 1/2 Burning Coals.

BEING REAL, BEING SELFLESS, AND WHAT I WANT TO DO

First off I love creativity. I love art. I love entertainment. I don’t feel like art and entertainment need to be thought of as separate things. The entertainment I love; specifically music, film and literature, I see as art. The music of Jimi Hendrix is art. I really think that. Mozart and Hendrix, neither one is inherently more artistic or beautiful then the other. Both are different ways of expressing oneself through music. It comes down to the individual preferences of the listener. What is and what isn’t art is not important. Well that’s not entirely true. It’s just not what I want to write about right now. What I want to write about now is how I want to be a part of that world, the creative artistic world. I can’t and don’t have the patience to play music. I can’t sing, I can’t paint, I can’t act and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t direct a film. I do, however think I can write.
This, though, is where I start to realize what I don’t like about myself and my writing. I feel as if I have the constant need to seek approval or be praised by my peers. This need to be perceived as smart, witty and insightful leaks into my writing. Of course if I want to be a writer, or in other words contribute to that world of art and thought, I should write in a way that engages people; the problem is that a lot of times I feel like I’m just trying to show off. I’m writing for the praise and not for the art. This motive for praise and self aggrandizement seems impossible to escape completely. George Orwell said as much in his essay “Why I Write.” In it he lists four main reasons why someone chooses to write, the first of which he says is “sheer egotism,” which he describes as, a “desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death…” He goes on to say, “it is humbug (bullshit in modern terms) to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one” (312). While much of the essay also focuses on Orwell’s more idealistic reasons for writing; the “desire to push the world in a certain direction, to alter peoples’ ideas of the kind of society they should strive after” (312 – 313); he is careful to bring it back to what he ultimately believes to be one of the more powerful motives to write. “All writers are vain, selfish and lazy” (316). This quote sounds like a terrible characterization, but it brings a knowing little smirk to my face because there is truth in it. First of all, it does seem lazy to want to be an artist or writer. I don’t want to do manual labor and it’s not because I think I’m above it. I just hate it and I suck at it. In saying this I am not discounting what I believe to be the importance of art and writing. Art is another way to express what we believe to be a truth. It can sometimes communicate to us in a way that other things do not. Sometimes a love song or a sonnet speaks to us because it explains a feeling that we have in our own heart. It’s unfair for me to classify all artists as lazy. There are many artists who are industrious and multi talented, I just don’t count myself among them. This particular writer is lazy.
Again, I am getting off track here. The part of Orwell’s quote that I think really sums up how I feel about my own attempts to be a writer are the parts about selfishness and vanity. I’m both of these because I want to write my thoughts and I want to be praised for verbalizing them, but as I said earlier I’m afraid that I’m not always being true to my voice because I want to be admired as an insightful person who sheds light on the mysteries of the human condition. See, even that last sentence makes me sound like a show off and a pretentious fuck. Writing “fuck,” I guess is supposed to make me seem grounded and edgy. I’m no word snob and I have no moral objection to swearing. Ass, bitch, cunt, cock, mother fucker, shit. It’s just that I don’t want to swear just to swear or show off. I want to be insightful, edgy and funny; but I don’t want to pretend to be insightful, edgy and funny. I want my writing to come from a real place inside of me and not from what I perceive to be what people think of as great writing; otherwise my writing will be hollow or as Kurt Vonnegut would call it, “cheap, silly, false” (12).
Recently I reread The Catcher In the Rye, and out of all of Holden Caulfield’s rants there was one in particular that stood out and I think it relates to the anxiety I’m speaking of, about wanting to be a successful writer but also making sure that I’m doing it from a pure and authentic place. In the passage I’m thinking of, Holden is asked by his little sister, Phoebe, what he wants to do with his life. He has a hard time answering the question and at one point begins talking about lawyers.

“Lawyers are alright, I guess – but it doesn’t appeal to me… I mean they’re alright if they go around saving innocent guys’ lives all the time, and like that, but you don’t do that kind of stuff if you’re a lawyer. All you do is make a lot of dough and play golf and play bridge and buy cars and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides, even if you did go around saving guys’ lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys’ lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies? How would you know you weren’t being a phony? The trouble is you wouldn’t” (Salinger 172).

How do you and I know we aren’t being phonies? How do we know we are being authentic and acting completely selflessly without any thought of compensation, whether that compensation be in the form of financial gain or in words of praise? Is it even possible to be completely selfless? Is a perceived noble act any less noble because we find out the actor is a self involved status seeking prick? It certainly feels wrong to praise someone who seemingly does something good for selfish reasons, but again; is it possible to be completely selfless when doing something righteous? Personally, I don’t think it is. Even if we serve out of a desire to serve, we are still fulfilling a personal desire. We are seeking to fulfill something in our self which is in a way selfish.
Holden is critical of people he perceives as phony throughout the novel. He sees, most especially in the world of grown – ups, a lack of authenticity. The question I have is similar to the question I had about selflessness. Is it possible to be completely authentic and true to one’s self in every word and in every action? For someone like me or Holden who seem to idealize authenticity, the answer is a hopeful yes. The fact that I say “a hopeful yes,” however implies that I am skeptical of my own reply. In reality I think the best we can do is try. Complete authenticity requires complete knowledge of one’s self; but this a life long journey. The self is not some permanent stagnate thing. It is and should be something that is constantly changing and evolving through life experience. In our quest to be authentic all we can do is be true to where we are in the moment we act but with the knowledge that we are always changing.
With Holden and with myself there is a fear of failure, the ultimate failure is possibly being exposed as that thing we hate the most, a phony. Part of this seems to stem from having an overly idealized and impossibly high standard of selflessness and authenticity. In Holden’s case and in my own this fear has paralyzed us from accomplishing much with our lives. As you read the “Catcher in the Rye,” once you get past his obvious pettiness and immaturity, you also realize that Holden can be insightful and intelligent. He speaks of his talent in writing and he is clearly capable of more than flunking out of the schools he has attended. I relate to this flaw in Holden Caulfield. I hesitate to write and I have nearly flunked out of school twice. I’m enrolled to go back this year, but under continued academic probation, just as at the end of the novel Holden is scheduled to go back to another school. He is hesitant however to commit that he is going to do better, which again seems to stem from the same fear of being exposed as a phony.

“A lot of people, especially this one psychoanalyst guy they have here, keeps asking me if I’m going to apply myself when I go back to school next September. It’s such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean how do you know what you’re going to do till you do it? The answer is you don’t. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it’s a stupid question” (Salinger 213).

If Holden answers yes and he fails then he thinks he will be seen as a phony. It is a difficult question to answer, especially when you’re history suggests that you will fail, not because you want to but because we humans are creatures of habit. We have noble hopes to change our behaviors but until we actually change our behaviors we repeat our mistakes. As with selflessness and authenticity the best I can answer about my own future success in both school and in attempting to be a successful and authentic writer is that I will try. Whenever someone says I will try, we automatically think of it as a weak and uncommitted response. Many of us of a certain age hear Yoda saying, “do or do not, there is no try.” Damn it, I don’t care what Yoda says. We do by trying to do. I am going to try but this time I’m not going to let my fear of being seen as selfish or phony stop me from doing what it is I want to do. I will strive to do things as selflessly and as authentically as is possible for me to do. In the end I believe it’s better to act with imperfect motives then to not act all. At least by acting we can change our motives over time; they can come from a more selfless and authentic place just by acting and striving to have them come from those places.
So here I am, attempting to enter the world of writers and thinkers hoping that what I am writing is something worthwhile and helpful to those who struggle and are apprehensive about their futures. I can say that in at least this, I have spoken from the heart.

By the way, if you are interested in reading George Orwell's vastly superior, short and entertaining essay, "Why I Write," here is the link: http://orwell.ru/library/essays/wiw/english/e_wiw

Bibliography

Orwell, George. A Collection of Essays. Orlando: Harcourt, 1981.
Print.

Vonnegut, Kurt. Welcome to the Monkey House. New York: Dial Press, 2006.
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Salinger, J.D. The Catcher in the Rye. New York: Little Brown and Co., 1991
Print.

Wait... So now Dan Auerbach likes guitar solos?

Ok, before I talk about the new album from the Black Keys I need to express some irritation I have with these guys. First off, I'm a fan. I got hooked after hearing the guitar riff for "Your Touch," off their 2006 album "Magic Potion," an album which I happen to enjoy but is regularly dissed by the band themselves. Upon exploring their back catalog I was impressed by their raw guitar and drums sound, not unlike the White Stripes; a fact Jack White loves to point out. Tunes like "I'll Be Your Man," and albums like "The Rubber Factory" and "Thickfreakness" became part of my constant listening rotation. This was a band that seemed unashamed to play bluesy riff-driven rock 'n' roll in an era of overly produced pop and sensitive overly precious indie "rock." With 2008's "Attack and Release" the Keys hooked up with the hip retro producer Danger Mouse and began distancing themselves from the sound that up to that point had made them a mildly popular underground garage act. I have no problem with bands evolving and changing their sound. I'm one of the few Metallica fans who still really likes the much fan - maligned "Load" and "Reload" albums. I didn't and still don't love "Attack and Release," but I loved the Keys two follow up records, 2010's slightly bloated hazy soul album "Brothers" and 2011's wonderfully trashy glam album "El Camino."

So I love most of the band's music, what have I got to be irritated about? I have no beef with the music. Sure it's a little derivative of rock n roll history, but it gets the job done. I have a problem with Dan Auerbach's and Patrick Carney's obsessive need to appear cool. There are plenty examples of Patrick Carney shooting his mouth about other bands but those have been extensively covered. I want to focus my attention on Dan Auerbach. Listen to fuzz riff of 2006's "Just A Little Heat." ">

Now check out how "Little Black Submarines" from "El Camino" begins as a slow acoustic tune before erupting into an electric hell storm of guitar distortion and Carney's caveman skin pounding. ">

These two songs are awesome examples of the Black Keys rock 'n' roll credentials. Now, I ask you, if you had to name what classic rock band comes to mind when you hear these tunes? Okay, maybe the Rolling Stones or Jimi Hendrix, but if you're like me I bet a lot of you said, Led Zeppelin. When being compared to a classic rock act you could do much worse. What does "cooler then thou," Auerbach think of the Zepp comparisons? Read for yourself: "Man, you know what? I never listen to Led Zeppelin. But, I mean, I don’t think Robert Plant or Jimmy Page listen to Led Zeppelin, either. We all prob­ably obsessed over the same old blues records growing up." (Read the entire interview here: http://www.maxim.com/music/interview-with-dan-auerbach-of-the-black-keys

Okay fine, you're not a Zeppelin fan. What bugs me isn't the fact that he doesn't dig the mighty Zeppelin, its the way he just dismisses them. Its a hard sale to deny any influence of Jimmy Page when your music is so obviously indebted to the sound he popularized. I'm probably being nit picky here but I wouldn't bring it up if it was the first time I'd been annoyed with Auerbach's comments. My current irritation is his contradictory attitude toward guitar and in particular guitar solos. I am an unapologetic fan boy of a good long guitar solo. I'm the obnoxious guy who cranks the stereo up at the moment when a guitar player rips into his strings and shreds your face off with a blade of awesomeness. (Quick aside; Top 5 guitar solos: "Machine Gun" - Jimi Hendrix. This one sounds like a war. "You Really Got Me" - The Kinks. Dave Davies sounds like he's having a seizure while playing this brief explosion. "Comfortably Numb" - Pink Floyd. The studio version is great but you gotta watch the Pulse DVD to see and hear David Gilmour extend this solo into the stratosphere. Very epic. "Crossroads" - Cream. With all the easy listening adult contemporary crap that Eric Clapton has made its hard to remember that he once kicked ass on guitar, okay he still does, but he really let it rip in the old days. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin. Go ahead and call me cliche, but seriously this solo made me a classic rock fan. My whole taste in music shifted when I heard this song at a home coming dance as a high school sophomore living in Iowa back in the fall of 1995.)

Anyway back to Auerbach. Back in 2011, Auerbach made a list for Rolling Stone of bad ass guitars. Nothing wrong with that, except for some reason he had to preface his list by saying, "Guitar bores the shit out of me 99 per cent of the time." (http://www.rollingstoneme.com/music/the-black-keys-badass-guitars-and-killer-grooves) Oooh, how hip and ironic of you Dan. You are a guitar player making a list of your favorite bad ass guitar sounds, yet you are bored by guitar 99 per cent of the time. Bullshit.

Most recently I'm annoyed with this statement from a recent interview with NPR where Auerbach talks about his guitar solos on the new album, "Turn Blue." "...I grew up listening to Derek & the Dominos and The Allman Brothers and stuff like that. I listen to the Grateful Dead a lot... I grew up listening to that kind of music, and I love long guitar solos and spacey jams." (http://www.npr.org/blogs/allsongs/2014/05/07/309346263/the-black-keys-turn-blue-the-all-songs-interview)Awesome. You love long guitar solos and spacey jams. Me too, except I'm not sure what to make of this comment to Spin magazine in 2011: ""I've never been into guitar solos. I really like when every instrument in the band is a rhythm instrument." (http://www.spin.com/articles/studio-black-keys/)Dan, which is it? You don't need to pander and flip flop. You are a great guitar player and I love your music.

Okay, now that is all off of my chest, what do I think of the new Keys record? I dig it. I think its the first great record of 2014, sorry Beck fans. Things start off in outer space with the nearly seven minute "Weight of Love." This is definitely the longest tune I'm aware of on a Black Keys album. The song has been drawing a lot of comparisons to the opening track "Breathe" from Pink Floyd's classic "Dark Side of the Moon." It's a fair comparison as both tunes have a lot of space as they float into your consciousness. Dan's guitar solo on this one sears out of the song's otherwise psychedelic fog. ">

"Fever" was the album's first single about a month ago and when I first heard it I wasn't sure if I dug it or not. I've since found myself loving its relentless groove. Side two's "Its Up to You Now," features a pounding and driving beat from Patrick Carney that sounds like a mash up of the Bo Diddley beat and Zepp's "Immigrant Song."

As surprising as "Weight of Love" is the biggest surprise for me comes in the album's closing track "Gotta Get Away." This tune emerges from the smoky atmosphere of the rest of the record with what is one of the catchiest songs the Keys have ever recorded. "Gotta Get Away," is pure summertime and bbqs classic rock. This tune is destined to become ubiquitous in car and beer commercials and a staple on future classic rock radio playlists. It is seriously just so damn good. Hear for yourself and try to not dance around and sing along with the chorus by the end of it. ">

Like last year's Arctic Monkey's "AM" album, this a rock album that you can dance too. While it's not quite as good as that album, "Turn Blue," is another great album from a great modern rock 'n' roll band. This albums gets 4 burning coals.

NEW WOLFMOTHER TO ROCK YOUR FACE OFF!

After five years of silence I don't think anyone expected Wolfmother to release another album. Well that's just what they did and it rocks. It's hard to talk about Wolfmother without mentioning their obvious influences. Their music is very derivative of the classic rock and heavy metal of the 1960s and 1970s, but by calling their music derivative is not me calling the music bad, I find Wolfmother to be quite enjoyable, I just don't find it to be anything groundbreaking either. I've banged my head to tunes like "Woman" and "Joker and the Thief" proudly for the last seven or eight years.

The album announces itself with the boys updating the power trio blast of Cream on the opener, "How Many Times." The stereo mix on this track is fantastic as each of the three instruments are made distinct as they pound your skull with classic rock riffagery and screaming lead guitar. Its a great way to open an album of vintage hard rock 'n' roll.

"Enemy Is In Your Mind" is pure "Sabotage" era Black Sabbath, with Andrew Stockdale singing in his best Ozzy voice to great effect. I didn't think anyone would ever sound like the Prince of Darkness but alas I stand corrected. Nice work Andrew. The album's title track, "New Crown," is a good epic with the track morphing from standard riff rock into a Foghat "Slow Ride" groove complete with a nice fuzzed out guitar solo and some wonderfully funky mud bass thumping along at the bottom end. Very tasty.

"Feelings" is lo-fi garage rock that has Andrew Stockdale sounding like Jack White fronting the Buzzcocks. "I Ain't Got No" struts like AC/DC, while album closer "Radio" sounds like early nineties shoegaze filtered through the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

I had a lot of fun listening to this one, but it does also feel a little samey on repeated listens, and it never really seems to transcend its influences, which makes it difficult to proclaim it a classic or even essential album. That being said, if you are like me and have a soft spot for seventies inspired hard rock guitar riffs then by all means pick up this album and enjoy. I'd rate it 3 1/2 burning coals.

Stream the whole album here:

http://wolfmother.bandcamp.com/album/new-crown